The morning after……it’s a wonder death didn’t come for me due to boredom.

I was only half joking to my friend SS via Facebook last night that there wasn’t enough wine.  It turned out to be true.  There was not enough wine to keep me sedated in order to sit and watch the most boring Golden Globes ever.  Why did everyone keep making a big deal over Amy and Tina not hosting again?  Is there a law that states they can’t?  Going into it I was sad to say the least they wouldn’t e back.  Today I am fine as the wine I drank last night over it.  They were so boring!  Even some of their jokes were flat.  I actually would take Ricky Garvis back in a heartbeat!

Awards shows (Oscars, Emmys etc.,) are getting duller and duller as the years go by.  Is it because we have so much social media now that we know everything about the stars before they get dressed up and hit the carpet?  Or are we just over stimulated?  Or have I just grown up and realized Hollywood is really just a warped group of people that didn’t mature past high school?  Deep thoughts.

You know who seemed even more bored than me?

Amal Clooney at her husbands Office Party

Amal Clooney at her Husbands Office Party

I swear she yawned.  I know for certain she rolled her eyes.  And I pray that next time she is seated next to Gelina because I’m certain she would find Angelina Jolie dull and boring too.  I would love to watch that show.

George giving his little speech where he was supposed to choke up and act like the madly in love husband….that alone deserved an award.  Watching the clips of  his movies made me wonder if Matt Damon was sitting home super pissed!  And the only way they could have topped his intro was if they had thrown in more clips from his time on Facts of Life.

I’ll say this.  That old concubine of his, Stacy Keibler definitely owned the red carpet when she was his date.  She definitely earned her salary there.

I am pretty sure she’s been a tad bitter this last year.  Yes, she had a baby and got married.  But, you can’t tell me she didn’t expect to be the one to finally land George Clooney.  She put a lot of work into it……only to have this woman win the prize.  I use that term loosely because she married down.  Amal could have married anyone.  But, you have to wonder why she picked George?  I’m thinking she is more than likely the bread winner and she thought who better to have under her thumb than this guy.  I still can’t believe he didn’t take her name.  I’m pretty sure while we may call her Amal Clooney it’s not her legal name.

White gloves……and a pigeon toed husband.

Amal hit the red carpet in white gloves.  It was all so 1960s Jackie O

Only Jackie O did it way better.  And it was for a state dinner.  I almost think Amal thought that this shindig called the Golden Globes, was going to be filled with people worthy of her presence.  She had to have thought that perhaps these people that George goes on and on about were educated.  You know college degrees……when most of them didn’t even finish high school.  Ibet she went home last night and wrote in her diary “what did I do when I married this man?  He’s not at all of my caliber.  He drinks from a beer bottle and I’m just realizing he isn’t fluent in any language.  Including English.  I’ve married a cave man.”

Long story short Amal was in Dior and it was a Bore.  See what I did there?  Dior Bore.  Gawd.

I have a list of people that were not impressed at all:

Jennifer’s husband to be Justin.

I love that Justin is sitting between the two Jen’s.  Reese is there.  And he looks bored to death.  Also who did that centerpiece?  It looks very FTD 24 hour order on line.

Obviously Jennifer Garner Affleck is trying to pull up a photo of one of her boring children to show Justin too.  Those girls dress like farmers on a regular basis.  He doesn’t seem the type to be interested in farming, children, or people named Jen.  Just sayin.

I was shocked to see that Matt Lauer carries his own boxes.  I thought that’s what he kept his Today show co host around for.

And this pretty much described the evening:

WHY am I here?

Bill Murray.  I felt so bad for him being stuck at the Golden Globes.  I think he just wanted to go home ten minutes in.  But, on the topic of accessories I really loved this look on him.  Bravo Bill.  Bravo!  He was one of the better dressed men I felt.

Let’s just go ahead and line up the people that bothered even showing up.  Because in the end they didn’t bother to give a dang about what they chose:

Amy Adams in Versace

Thanks for not trying in color, style, hair, make up, speeches or personality.
Well done Amy Adams.  Well done.

Naomi Watts in Gucci

Naomi Watts has worn this belt 5 times on a red carpet……some people praise her for this.  I am not one of those people.  Nobody wants to loan her new accessories?  Why?  Does she have a reputation for not returning them?  Does she send them back in a Gap bags when they arrived in one of those nice cloth drawstring bags?
She might as well have been in the same get up as Leslie Mann.

Leslie Mann in off the rack…………

The funny thing……….it’s not the first time I’ve confused Leslie Mann and Naomi Watts.  So what’s going on there?  Leslie Mann would have stolen the show if she was the only one in yellow.  But, Naomi Watts ruined that for her.

Viola Davis for Donna Karen Atelier

Viola Davis………representing in a David’s Bridal knock off called Donna Karen.

Camila Alves in Monique

I guess when you are married to Matthew Mcconaughey that means sometimes you care but mostly you never do because after all you got Matthew Mcconaughey to marry you.
But, this Monique number I found to be boring and a lot of effort for nothing.  The hair was very bad too.  I think that Camila probably got up yesterday morning, went to the beach, stopped off for a lunch and got home around 2 o’clock and her stylist showed up at 4.  So that would explain……….the yawn fest she brought last night.

Robin Wright and Some guy

I hope Robin Wright shows more enthusiasm behind closed doors with her boyfriend than she does on red carpets.  She looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there last night.  And that dress seemed very “Shania Twain” in that one video……

Shania Twain made a grand entrance to Caesar's Palace on horseback down the Vegas Strip.

Shania on a horse….of course.

Selma Hayek

Selma Hayek was wearing what I assume was crushed velvet?  If that’s the best you have to choose from, then what kind of movie roles are they offering her next?  And with that said what has she even been in lately?  She’s a producer now too?  She’s becoming quite the ‘triple threat’.  In her mind.  But, not mine.  Selma needs to stick to what she knows.  Acting in movies alongside cast members from Friends.  Don’t fight destiny.

If I went thru every single boring look last night….I’ll be here til Wednesday.  So stay tuned.  I have other dresses to share.  I promise.

 

 

 

 

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2 Responses to The morning after……it’s a wonder death didn’t come for me due to boredom.

  1. miss janice says:

    Loved your review. I was reading your facebook comments last night and dying laughing. I totally agree with all!

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