Bachelor Recap Week 1

So as everyone knows…I have a fantasy league.  I’ve been recapping each week.  And I now have over 150 people asking for my silly recaps.  Which is so weird to me.  Because when I type my thoughts I’m not trying to be funny.  It’s just how I talk.  I can’t possibly email everyone every week.  So I thought I do have a blog….why not post here too?   I am flattered that the people on the fantasy league forwarded my emails and then those got forwarded.  I I feel like Vidal Sassoon.  Then she told someone. Then he told someone…….

Here you go….Recap Week 1

Well, if you ever wondered how the twin girls from the movie the Shining turned out, now you know.  They are on the Bachelor and share the same personality of a flea.

It’s been said that reality t.v. is a waste of time.  You rarely learn anything.  If I had not been watching last night I would never have known there was such an occupation of ‘chicken enthusiast.’  I’ve been going down the wrong path of wine enthusiasts (or have I really?) Tiara sleeps with her chickens. Has professional Olan Mill photos of her chickens. I assume she smells like chicken.  She named her one chicken Sheila.  Swoooooon

I was sad to see her go!

Ben’s got the roses, the producers have the meds, and I’ve got all the time to watch this train wreck once again.  Mondays are not so bad after all!

Remember when all you did was exit a limo in a fancy dress and pray you didn’t flash your under carriage?  Now you have to get out and come up with something witty.  But, by witty I mean pun intended, corny and awkward.  I have to wonder if the first impression rose is a good thing or bad thing?  And what did gluten do to that one girl?

Some of my faves last night…..

Mandi.  She supposedly has a dental degree.  Amazing body (all natural.  I’m sure of it.) She calls herself weird, saving us all time since she also has a rose hat the size of Iowa on her head.  Personality:  Cray Cray to the first power.  I liked her immediately b/c she stole Ben from Lace…..

Olivia. QUIT HER JOB… be there.  And tells him.  No pressure.  Mark my words when she gets sent home…she is going to bring that up again and make him pay.

Caila.  Dumped her boyfriend when Ben was on the Bachlorette…….again.  That’s going to bite Ben in the ass.

Lace.  Oh Lace.  Lace is from Denver y’all. Wearing Lace.  She is so unique (in her mind.)  She’s a favorite (in her mind.)  That girl talked smack, got drunk, and has issues with eye contact.  She is bonkers and is okay with it showing.  I felt like she was channeling her best drunk girl impression acted about by Cecily on SNL.  She possibly gives someone a black eye.

If you picked Lace……you are doing pretty well on the board b/c she brought in a whopping 85 points.  Now keep in mind we had this last season with Kelsey out the gate.  We all know how that ended….stranded in the dessert with a helicopter leaving.  Whitney who took it all the way was rarely a heavy hitter in points.

This league is made up of three hubbies 6 couples and 15 of us girls.  We have $600 to divvy up after everyone has paid in.

Good luck to all!!!!

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