Emmys 2011

So it was a night of playing it safe when it came to clothing. Blah. It was a night of giving all the awards to Modern Family too. Not that I mind since it’s pretty funny. There wasn’t anything surprising last night though.

Jane Lynch

Jane Lynch was a pretty good host. Her line introducing the cast of Entourage was hilarious. Look it up. I can’t do it justice. She also made fun of herself quite a bit. I love someone that can make fun of themselves. All in all she was great!

There were some moments of “why are you here again?” I don’t want to mention names so I’ll just keep it to myself.

Katie Holmes

I’ll just start here though. Okay so first of all does Joey from Dawsons Creek ever realize that her career is over and that she is only at these shows because someone from Tom’s work force reads the fine print of their marriage agreement? This is how Katie gets these gigs! It’s in the contract. I just want to shake Katie Holmes. What is she doing with her life? I mean yes, money and glamour. Still. She is like the new Britney Spears married to Kevin Federline. Only her Kevin is Tom. And she has way better hair and make-up. And okay some would say she is better fashion wise…..but I wouldn’t. Because just when you think you can trust her to dress herself and cross the street on her own without holding hands of someone (Suri) she goes and puts on plaid and bad boots. So I’m not going to buy into her being independent just yet. I just wish that marriage would end so we could see what she could really do with herself.

Dress: Calvin Klein
Color: Blue
Accessories: Not sure
Hair: Not a mess for a change

She did pretty good. I mean Calvin was safe. Hair looked good. Make-up was fine. But, again why was she there? I don’t know. She wore something that I would say you would wear getting off a boat at Cannes for the film festival on the way for make-up and hair. This was out of place.

Let’s just stick with a theme…..of the Why were you there?

Clare Danes

Dress: Oscar
Color: Blue black and bruised
Accessories: She needed implants.

Clare Danes is always glowing. I love her. I just don’t understand the need to wear a gown that shows you have a chest built like a board. Make-up looked good. But, the dress fit was hard to deal with because she literally looked sewn into the dress.

Gwyneth Paltrow

gwyneth-paltrow-emmys-2011.jpg

I know why she was there. Don’t get in an uproar. Clearly she was bringing the ‘gangsta’ element to the event. She is BFF’s with Beyonce and JayZ.BFF for life. But, I almost thought this was the Real Housewife from DC when I saw the outfit. Gwenyth\’s Twin.

In case y’all didn’t know she works out. I wish she would find a new cause. New hobby. New planet to live on. Something. I get tired watching her market herself as perfection. Everyone can be perfect with massive amounts of help and money. Give me the salary from one of her movies and four nannies, a cook, driver, and three houses and watch how fast I can become mom of the year and the thinnest one in the carpool line.

The dress was okay. I mean why did they take scissors to it just before she walked down the red carpet. If her Frenemy had been there it could have been spun into that there was a fight with a pair of pinking shears. I wish!

Dress: Pucci
Accessories: Neil Lane
Color: Black and blah

Giuliana Rancic

Okay she is not a star only a hostess. But, she has to be discussed. Or her tanning guy that sprays her down has to be discussed. How dark is Giuliana Rancic? It’s bad. I mean bad. It’s like she was dipped in the solution. It was terrible. Her dresses were fine. I only saw two different red ones. She looked so different that for a few minutes I kept going back and forth and trying to figure out if she is pregnant. I wish she would be. I know they have tried for a while. But, it was so hard to look at her. She was too tan. She was darker than Latoya Jackson for crying out loud. And she’s black!

So just to keep up people the dress code was the following last night: red, black, or nude to the point that people thought you were a corpse.

Elizabeth Moss had this little number on. What does it say when you actually look better as your character from the 60′s in bad greens and plaids with hair that is fifty years old? In my mind this look should be called “High Noon at High Forehead”

Gown: Marchesa
Color: Nude with gold
Accessories: Invisible

Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)

Sofia Vergara looked stunning as always.

Gown: Vera Wang
Color: Melon…not red and not orange.
Accessories: Jewels that didn’t match but were fabulous

I have to wonder if it bugged her a little when her younger co-star showed up with a dress that was pretty much like her dress…..

Sarah Hyland (Modern Family)

Sarah Hyland had a coral pink dress on. One shoulder. It was very similar. The two of them on stage at the end of the night reminded me of those Mommy and Me dress sets you see women buy from those catalogs.

Gown: Christian Siriano
Color: Coral and fabulous
Accessories: Shoes are too tall for her age.

Gown: Elie Saab
Color: Red

Kate Winslet won. And I appreciated that she was so excited and was over the top about winning. I mean she has an Oscar she is getting close to being a triple threat (Take Note Beyonce) This looked like any other red carpet she has been on lately. So it wasn’t a to die for moment for me. She looked great though!

Who got on my nerves with the “I can’t believe I won” Pause *look out at the sea of ‘losers’ and again “I can’t believe I won” Pause Pause Pause Man I hope I look thin

Look I love Julie Bowen. She is hysterical on Modern Family. I think every mother can identify with her. But, Julie Bowen has fallen victim to Hollywood. She is super thin. I mean that girl has nothing on her but skin and a prayer. It was on my nerves when she got her trophy and just kept milking it with how she didn’t expect it. No but you prayed for it, dieted for it, and dressed for it. You some what had a rehearsed speech. Give me a break!

Dress: Oscar and sorry when you are this thin you don’t wear Oscar that is cut this way. You wear a fuller skirt. You get some drama with feathers and tulle. Just watch Toddlers and Tiaras and you’ll see what I mean.
Accessories: A ponytail that should be forgotten

Dress: Christian Siriano
Color: I would say pewter
Stunning! Stunning! Heidi Klum is always gorgeous. I loved this because the dress if long would have been way too much. The shorter version was perfect and honestly I thought short with this much going on was perfect for the Emmys. The Oscars no.

Juliana Marguilies took the stage and announced she is known as the funniest woman in Hollywood. Well, I certainly found that dress to be a joke. So yes….I agree she is pretty dang funny.
I know that not everyone has a Rachel Zoe in their life jumping through hoops to be their stylist. But, in Juliana’s case I think she is making good money on that show of hers. So hire a stylist even at Nordstroms Rack. They will be way better than her current one whom I am pretty certain works for Home Depot. Because this dress looked like the back splash at the spa at the Wynn.

Dress: Armani Privé
Color: White satin
Accessories: A stylist that hated her.

 

Part II later today!

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